chief den mom!

i just came home to a broseph birthday party downstairs and a huge 70 pound box sent by my mom on the porch. as i struggled to maneuver the box inside, an unknown bro came outside to help. at first he was confused (read: drunk).

bro #1: what are you doing?
me: trying to take this upstairs.
bro #1: upstairs??
me: yeah, i live up there.
bro #1: with the DUDES?!?
me: no, i have my own apartment.
bro #1: wait, no. HERE?!?

he didn't believe me. bros #2 and #3 came out to help. they dismissed bro #1 when i confirmed that there was breakable stuff inside, asked whether there were any cookies when i said it was from my mom, and carried the box upstairs and into my apartment.

bro #2: man, it smells gooooooood in here...
bro #3: like a girrrrrrrrrrrl...
me: well, yeah, okay, thanks guys. uh, have fun tonight. make good choices!
bro #2: thanks. you're like our den mom.
bro #3: like a CHIEF den mom.
me: yeah. kinda.
bro #2: it ain't easy watching over us.
me: it sure ain't. it suuuuure ain't.

BRO-DOWN!!!!!!!!

broseph taxi fight outside my apartment 5 seconds ago:

"AND THAT'S WHY NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS FROM HIGH SCHOOL LIKE YOU!" followed by a taxi door to the face!

discoveries, debates, and decisions

i'm considering a re-name of the blog to "bruns and the brosephs and the unidentified critter."

while i mull over this decision, let's take some guesses as to the identity of my newest roommate:

chinchilla! yes please.

chipmunk? could be.

i don't even want to mess with the (o)possum gods by joking about this one...

oh jesus, oh jesus, oh jesus...

and if i'm super lucky...
A RED PANDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from wikipedia:

Red Pandas are very skillful and acrobatic animals that live predominantly in trees. They live in territories, frequently alone, and only rarely live in pairs or in groups of families.

but sometimes with nine brosephs!

They are very quiet except for some twittering and whistling communication sounds. They search for food at night, running along the ground or through the trees with speed and agility and, after finding food, use their front paws to place the food into their mouths.

that explains all the noises i've been hearing! they're scavenging for leftover cottage inn!

Red pandas drink by plunging their paw into the water and licking their paws.

don't go dippin' those paws into random red cups, lil fellas!

so in conclusion, get ready for brunsandthebrosephsandtheREDPANDA.blogspot.com.

i think the upstairs brosephs have a new critter. i've been hearing sounds of tiny paw feet from my ceiling all day. i hope it's a puppy!!!!!!!! but it's probably a ferret.

thumbs up!


thumbs down!

babies become bros and bros have birthdays

whoa brah! it's keith/doug/mike/kevin/joey/who-the-fuck-cares' birthday! let's get blackout 'til sunday! and do stupid shit we don't remember! and break everything in sight because college is all about having FUN! and getting WASTED! and pumpkin-colored girls in UGGS! and keeping the cute law student next door awake at ALL HOURS!!!!!!!

whatever, SHOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

another bro pro

2. heat!!!!!!

who knew the thermostat would plummet below 60 the day the brosephs skipped town? bros! my radiators need your 2000 lbs of man heat!

bruns' wish list 2k8

i will take any/all of the following:



merry christmas!!!!!!

season's greetings from my house to yours

in case you can't read that, it says "NUT ST."

'twas the night before my first exam . . .

kyle* and some random bro named steve* just came home drunk as skunks. they were standing outside my door for a while, yelling blatantly offensive and homophobic crap at each other, i don't know, the usual. i finally went out there and had to help them into their apartment. steve thought i was cute and asked me if i had a boyfriend. kyle said, "yeah, and he's a lot cooler than you." steve asked kyle to "put in a good word anyway" as i stood right there unlocking their door.

when i got the door open, all this smoke came out and i got a big whiff of burning . . . pizza? bad news. i asked them politely not to burn the house down tonight because i have a final tomorrow. they said, "no prob and good luck." then, as i went back into my apartment, i made sure to bring my christmas wreath inside so that they don't take it out back and piss on it.

if they do burn the house down, does this count as a dying declaration? probs not.

*should i have given them pseudonyms? whatever, there are probably 1 million bros named kyle or steve.

bro pros

1. they put up christmas lights, which was a festive and thoughtful gesture.








sorry, that's all i got.