Thursday, June 17, 2010

buh-bye, bros icing bros!

if you haven't heard, smirnoff took down the beloved bros icing bros website, taking with it my theory that this was all one big elaborate viral marketing campaign. sure, liquor companies usually shy away from promoting binge drinking for liability purposes, but that sure didn't stop miller lite from inventing its new vortex bottle. the benefit? harder, better, faster, stronger chugging.  true story.

to be honest, i kind of thought the bros could have done better. chugging smirnoff ice? sounds like my freshman year of college (which many would argue is exactly the point). but let's up the ante a little bit, eh?  i propose that instead of bros icing bros, we have bros booning bros.  y'know, chugging an entire bottle of boone's effing farm.  i mean, just look at the stuff!

i think you are guaranteed to vomit if you chug one of those, which (based on my limited expertise) i think the bros would like.  let's look over some of the positive points:
  • the name is pretty awesome.  bros booning bros?  it's like a tongue twister, and if you mess up and say "bros boning bros," then hilarity is sure to ensure!  because then another bro will surely let you know that "you're a fag, dude."
  • just look at the numbers.  for a little bit more than the price of an ice, you get 25 fluid ounces of fizzy, sugary, malty "goodness" with up to 7% alcohol content.  yowzers.
  • the domain is still unregistered, just waiting to be taken down by gallo in a month!
  • so with smirnoff, you had the defense ice.  this pretty much made the game, am i right?  but now you have the boone's block.  it just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?  yeah, it's a bit more cumbersome to carry around, but making your buddy drop a knee and drink 50 fluid ounces of fuzzy navel?  sign me up for the peanut gallery!
  • and finally, the best part?  you get to disassociate yourself from those twits, mark zuckerberg and julia allison.