Thursday, March 12, 2009

"you would really like my mom"

it's 4 am on a wednesday night (or thursday morning?), the bros have been o.o.c. for hours, and it's 99% likely that the apartment next door is now in shambles. so i suck it up and go over there. i knock on the door and immediately hear lots of brohan bodies run for the door. but then there's a pause. i can guess that they're looking at me through the peep hole: "oh shit, it's [bruns]." another long pause. the lock clicks and mike slooooowly pokes his head out.

me: so, dude, the walls are thin, i can hear everything, can you guys please keep it down?
mike: don't worry! we're about to go fuck with shit outside.
me: but it's wednesday and 4 am and 20 degrees out and don't y'all have class and shit? 'cause i do and i'm tired.
cacophony of bros in the background: WE HAVE JOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: good, but i worry about your choices. mostly because they're loud and keep me up at night.
mike: but we're gonna go fuck with shit someplace else. and we promise we'll be quiet when we come back.
me: okay, whatever, don't be stupid.
mike: you would really like my mom.
me: well, that depends--is she loud?

::some indecipherable jokes about mike's mom from the peanut gallery::

on that note, i turn around and go back inside my apartment. a few minutes later i can hear them in the stairwell shushing and giggling with one another. basically, when they're not bros, they're 11 year old schoolgirls.

the gradual softening of their yells of homophobic slurs as they run off together into the distance marks the end of yet another bro encounter of the 4 am kind. sadly, as you can see, the topic of the new internet password did not come up.

1 comment:

  1. Too bad you don't live next door to these brosephs: